Don’t Steal my Joy!
I taught middle schoolers for a while. And while I loved the experience, there were days that I spent hours complaining after class about their juvenile behavior. I must have let them really get me down, because one day I had a friend look me in the eye and say, “Don’t let them steal your joy.”
What an eye opener that statement was! My student’s bad behavior WAS robbing me of my core satisfaction with teaching. And I was allowing the theft to bleed into all areas of my life.
People influence people … for good or for evil.
Joy Thief
I must confess that I too, am a joy thief. My words and behavior affect my husband’s attitude for the worse. I can flip a happy moment into a heated argument with a silent sneer. I can swat joyful celebration dead with a flip of my tongue. I realize that even my friends choose not to share good news with me because I dampen the mood with critiques and challenges to do even better next time.
Joy can be stolen with gossip, an unkind word, a careless look, a deaf ear, a dead-pan expression. This behavior isn’t an intentional harm, but acted without thought. A joy thief is a vacuous hole of selfish thoughts that suck the joy from those around her.
Giving Joy
To change from a joy thief to a joy giver is a conscious choice to flip the switch on the vacuum of self from suck to blow! It is focusing your actions and words on the other instead of yourself. The Bible says an encouraging word, a cheerful expression, even a bottle of perfume will bring joy.
Wisdom, which is knowing the right thing to do then doing it, is joy wrapped with ease. Have you ever had a friend that was easy to be around? They don’t rub you the wrong way. They don’t react to your annoying quirks. They make it easy for you to enjoy life. You feel happier with them. Chances are, you have a wise friend; someone who makes good choices and influences you to live in the right way. They give you joy!
Musicians and comedians give joy. The death of Michael Jackson devastated the world. Why? Because we loved him for giving us joyful song. When the Bible speaks of joy, it is usually in context with music and laughter. A life without either is a joyless life.
Animated people spark joy. Shouting, jumping, dancing, leaping and arms raised are all movements the Bible pairs with enjoyment. You can gift joy with peppy enthusiasm for the activity at hand.
Joy Multiplies
Jesus was the ultimate joy giver. He said*, “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy. And that your joy would be full.” What “things” was he talking about? Right living and being loved by God, His Father. Jesus enjoyed pleasing God! And He knew we would too. Jesus understood that His joy would not be complete until it was shared with those He loved.
The best thing about becoming a joy giver is that joy is never given away, it is shared. It is multiplied. Our rejoicing becomes even greater in the giving. Joy begets enjoyment!
*John 15:10-12
Quick to Quit
One of the most discouraging things in life, to me, is when fellow workers either don’t follow through on their commitments, or complain about how hard it is to do things I work very hard at being cheerfully faithful at. I begin to think, “Am I a big geek because I keep at this thing they have decided isn’t worth the trouble?” And then I begin to doubt, without their contributions, if the thing will be successful? And then I fear failing because I can’t do everything by myself! Fear equals no courage. No courage equals discouragement. I lose the bold determination that I started with. I want to quit too.
Confessions
I don’t feel like doing the same ministry week after week. I get worn down with surprise circumstances. I would rather be relaxing or hanging out with friends. My kids are just as rowdy, destructive and full-time as everyone else’s. Money is tight and stresses me out, too. My family has to bend around ministry complications to accommodate the service I’ve committed to, and it wears them down as well. I struggle with a bad attitude that builds up until I welcome any excuse to call in sick.
Re-focus
It is in times like this that the only reasonable thing to do is re-focus. Today, my sight-shift comes from 2 Thessalonians 3:11-13.
Paul is warning Christians who aren’t at work. They are idle, not turning a profit with their time. He plays on the words and says that they aren’t busy, they are busybodies. In the Greek, it says something more like: they don’t work, they work-around. These are the type of people that seem to be busy, but when you take a close look at their schedule, they aren’t really doing much at all! Their life is full of drama, but nothing of worth. They piddle with this and that, waste time worrying about what they have to do, but never actually getting around to doing it. They become a burden to others who have to pick up the slack and bail them out time after time because of this non-working business of an idler.
Paul says elsewhere that the reason he built tents while he preached among them (the Thessalonians) was so that he wouldn’t be idle and make others take care of him. He didn’t want to be a burden on those around him. I can truthfully say, I understand Paul’s sentiment. And what strong sentiment! He says to mark the idler, warn him and even to stay away from him.
I know a person who quits is not necessarily a person who is idle. There are many reasons for discontinuing a job. But, the resulting burden is similar. It makes more work for those who don’t give up. And not just tangible work. There is the intangible mental work to be done battling discouragement.
And to this, Paul speaks words of courage: “And as for you, dear siblings, never tire of doing what is right.” I’m sure Paul experienced the inconvenience and frustration of fellow workers quitting on him, and with these words its as if he is saying to me, “I know what it feels like when folks abandon the cause, but you are on the right course. Up and at ‘em girl!”
And with that, I am roused to courageously endure.
Smelly Grace
It is Monday morning. Time to get ready for work. I do my usual routine; shower, hair, tooth-brushing, get dressed, put on perfume, grab a cup of coffee, check on the dog. This is where I pause.
I think, “Great. I wonder if that stupid creature is wound up on the tree again?” It is a nightly occurrence for my pet dog to play himself down to five inches of leash. The rest of the leash spider-webs between the apple tree and dog house.
Sure enough, outside I am greeted by a happy tail, sparkling eyes and a wet tongue all strapped to the side of the tree trunk. Barely able to wiggle, he barks and squirms as I survey the situation from the clean safety of my back porch. I sip. I smell the doggy aroma through the coffee and contemplate if I have enough time to change after I get his dirty, hairy self untied.
“You expect me to get you free again, don’t you?” I say to him. “I think you like being tied up, you do it so often!”
He doggy talks back, and since I’m his owner, I know what he says.
“I’m so sorry. Please, please untangle me.”
A paw lifts in repentance, promising a big hug and kiss for me when I help him out. Not what I wanted to complete my appearance this morning!
But I love him. I can’t bear to think of him trapped all day. My coffee cup cools on the porch rail as I release him, enjoy his messy kisses and push him off me as I un-knot his leash for another day. A hand wash and clothes change gets me back to a presentable state, and I rush to work vowing to remember to check the dog before the shower tomorrow.
The word grace means giving to the undeserved. And it’s always messy. Why? Because undeserving folks are a mess. Just like my dirty dog, I too behave in the same stupid patterns. I stretch the loving tolerance of those around me. I get those around me “dirty” with my angry outbursts and self-absorption. I get tied up in my own pleasure, oblivious to the knots I am creating for others to undo.
The word grace is love in action. Love is more than a feeling I get from someone who loves me back, it is giving to someone regardless of the cost. Everyone knows I love my dog, because I save him every morning despite the repetition and the mess.
Jesus Christ is the proof that God loves me. I am a tied-up, stupid, undeserving dog. Yet, He was willing to touch me and free me despite the mess.
No one is really willing to die for an honest person, though someone might be willing to die for a truly good person. But God showed how much he loved us by having Christ die for us, even though we were sinful. Christ never sinned! But God treated him as a sinner, so that Christ could make us acceptable to God. ~ Romans 5:7-8, 2 Cor 5:21
Quit Complaining…or Die.
Adults whine too.
Life sucks. Why can’t I have a bigger house? Why does the policeman always pull me over? I need more time to myself. My kids don’t appreciate me enough. My husband doesn’t tell me he loves me. Why can’t things be the way they used to be? Why is gas so expensive!? Why does no one help me when I need it? The president is ruining our way of life! I feel unhappy.
I don’t usually think of grown-ups complaining, but we do it as much as my tantrum-throwing toddler. Our adult version of whining often masquerades behind a “mood.” A pervasive bad feeling that sits in our gut and spoils our enjoyment with life. A gripe props up bitterness. A whine fuels depression. A complaint motivates a bad temper. A grumble spoon-feeds heartache.
A lethal habit
The Israelites were master complainers. “Oh, they grumble on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, grumble on Wednesday too! Grumble on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, grumble the whole week through!” is how a song from my childhood went. Their default was to find something they didn’t like and then talk about it. Murmuring is how the King James Bible words it.
A bit of history in Paul’s words.
For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers, that our forefathers were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea. They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. They all ate the same spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ. Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered over the desert.Their bodies were scattered over the desert! What the? What happened?
God led the descendants of his special friend, Abraham, out of brutal slavery in Egypt to the land he had promised them, Caanan (today, Israel). Literally, they followed Him in the form of a cloud through the Red Sea, on dry ground. When food ran low, God provided heavenly bread that appeared overnight outside their doors, and poultry that were easily caught and cooked. When water was scarce, God provided from the rocks around them. Everyday they saw the mysterious glory of God Himself settle on the tabernacle in the middle of their settlement. Yet, all the people who left Egypt never made it to Caanan. They died in the desert, save a few faithful. God killed them. Is He a cosmic turn-coat, or was something sinister occurring in these people that had to be ruthlessly destroyed?
Back to Paul’s history lesson in 1 Corinthains.
These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us… Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: “The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry.”We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. We should not test the Lord, as some of them did—and were killed by snakes. And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel.In spite of being given freedom, daily meat and bread, water and guidance by the visible presence of God, they murmured. They spoke sour words that revealed the wickedness in their hearts. And it wasn’t a one-time offense. The Israelites had developed an automatic and comfortable response to their life’s circumstances – they complained. No matter what God did for them ,they always wanted more. No matter the gift, they were never content. And over time, God killed them for it.
Look again at Paul’s summation in 1 Corinthians. False religion, sexual promiscuity and bossing God around like a personal slave are on the same par with complaining. All are equally disgusting to our good God. They are all death-traps.
God is ruthless in His pursuit of our good. We must recognize that sometimes God has the right to be pissed off that we aren’t grateful for His gifts. He knows that the way of the complainer is the way of death.
These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 1 Cor 10:11-12
Stumble It!
