Pen and Paper
It is a rare bird who likes to write things out. I don’t. This blog is a daily discipline for me…or spanking if I put it off. (Lots of those!) But, in an age where culture highlights emotion and restrains reasoning, putting your thoughts into something you can read and evaluate is invaluable.
In my counseling ministry, I give homework. Most of it requires a good deal of writing. The woman who applies herself to the task, witnesses change. The one who shirks the papers, usually persists in her bad habits with little change. Making a record of your life, thoughts, circumstances, insights and desires helps you apply truth to your days in concrete ways.
Know thyself!
One of the hardest things to do, if you are an emotional person, is to keep a thought journal. Not a feeling journal, but a on-going record of what is “unconsciously” and comfortably happening up there in your brain. Every 30 minutes, write down, “What was I just thinking?” Nothing is too trivial. Nothing is too mundane. Nothing is too shameful. You will discover your thinking habits with time; what your brain automatically reverts to imagining when you shut off the active thinking centers. Those thoughts are what is forming the core of your character. They need to be examined in light of the gospel. To read a bit about what God says our thoughts should be, click here.
Harried Schedule
Feel like you aren’t getting everything done that you should? One way to find out how you spend your time and if there are more hours in your day than you realize, is to record your weekly schedule. For a few weeks, jot down what you did in every hour of the day. Then, evaluate where you can “redeem” the time for a more profitable or important activity. Plan out a new weekly schedule, based on your evaluated and corrected time, that you can follow to get everything done that needs to be done. Remember, 8 hours of sleep is a non-negotiable! Really. Don’t cut back on sleep to get it all done.
In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat… Psalm 127:2
Troubled Spirits
Thoughts are often at the root of our moods. Where our thoughts go, our emotion follows. The bible says that war rages in this non-physical realm of our thoughts. It is here that we win or lose battles for our soul.
I was recently shocked to discover that for some, this notion of writing down thoughts is a complete mystery! I’m afraid I gave poor instructions because I didn’t realize it was a skill. I thought everyone could recall their thoughts! But, for so long this lady had lived by her feelings, she had no idea how to turn her feelings into a concrete statement. Simply teaching her this skill went a long way to solving her emotional problems.
Making Decisions
When worried about a course of action, the only way to go is to write it out! Not only does it give you a record of your thought-process for later when you need to evaluate your decision, it helps you not overlook vital arguments. A simple way to start is with three columns: Pros, Cons, I need more information on this…
Bible Disciplines
Another great time to put pen to paper is when reading the Bible and praying.Transferring what you read into your own words (even straight copying is beneficial!) involves visual, mental and bodily action; three different senses are involved, making the chances for recall much greater than reading alone! Asking yourself a few questions about the verse ups the recall factor even more. What does this verse say? What does it teach me about myself? What does it teach me about God? How can I respond?
A prayer journal is a great conerstone of faith. I have a terrible memory. Writing down what to pray for and how each prayer was answered helps me remember how God moves in my life. It is what keeps me praying. It is what proves prayer works.
If you are struggling in any of these areas, why don’t you go the next step and being to write?
Don’t Steal my Joy!
I taught middle schoolers for a while. And while I loved the experience, there were days that I spent hours complaining after class about their juvenile behavior. I must have let them really get me down, because one day I had a friend look me in the eye and say, “Don’t let them steal your joy.”
What an eye opener that statement was! My student’s bad behavior WAS robbing me of my core satisfaction with teaching. And I was allowing the theft to bleed into all areas of my life.
People influence people … for good or for evil.
Joy Thief
I must confess that I too, am a joy thief. My words and behavior affect my husband’s attitude for the worse. I can flip a happy moment into a heated argument with a silent sneer. I can swat joyful celebration dead with a flip of my tongue. I realize that even my friends choose not to share good news with me because I dampen the mood with critiques and challenges to do even better next time.
Joy can be stolen with gossip, an unkind word, a careless look, a deaf ear, a dead-pan expression. This behavior isn’t an intentional harm, but acted without thought. A joy thief is a vacuous hole of selfish thoughts that suck the joy from those around her.
Giving Joy
To change from a joy thief to a joy giver is a conscious choice to flip the switch on the vacuum of self from suck to blow! It is focusing your actions and words on the other instead of yourself. The Bible says an encouraging word, a cheerful expression, even a bottle of perfume will bring joy.
Wisdom, which is knowing the right thing to do then doing it, is joy wrapped with ease. Have you ever had a friend that was easy to be around? They don’t rub you the wrong way. They don’t react to your annoying quirks. They make it easy for you to enjoy life. You feel happier with them. Chances are, you have a wise friend; someone who makes good choices and influences you to live in the right way. They give you joy!
Musicians and comedians give joy. The death of Michael Jackson devastated the world. Why? Because we loved him for giving us joyful song. When the Bible speaks of joy, it is usually in context with music and laughter. A life without either is a joyless life.
Animated people spark joy. Shouting, jumping, dancing, leaping and arms raised are all movements the Bible pairs with enjoyment. You can gift joy with peppy enthusiasm for the activity at hand.
Joy Multiplies
Jesus was the ultimate joy giver. He said*, “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy. And that your joy would be full.” What “things” was he talking about? Right living and being loved by God, His Father. Jesus enjoyed pleasing God! And He knew we would too. Jesus understood that His joy would not be complete until it was shared with those He loved.
The best thing about becoming a joy giver is that joy is never given away, it is shared. It is multiplied. Our rejoicing becomes even greater in the giving. Joy begets enjoyment!
*John 15:10-12
Quick to Quit
One of the most discouraging things in life, to me, is when fellow workers either don’t follow through on their commitments, or complain about how hard it is to do things I work very hard at being cheerfully faithful at. I begin to think, “Am I a big geek because I keep at this thing they have decided isn’t worth the trouble?” And then I begin to doubt, without their contributions, if the thing will be successful? And then I fear failing because I can’t do everything by myself! Fear equals no courage. No courage equals discouragement. I lose the bold determination that I started with. I want to quit too.
Confessions
I don’t feel like doing the same ministry week after week. I get worn down with surprise circumstances. I would rather be relaxing or hanging out with friends. My kids are just as rowdy, destructive and full-time as everyone else’s. Money is tight and stresses me out, too. My family has to bend around ministry complications to accommodate the service I’ve committed to, and it wears them down as well. I struggle with a bad attitude that builds up until I welcome any excuse to call in sick.
Re-focus
It is in times like this that the only reasonable thing to do is re-focus. Today, my sight-shift comes from 2 Thessalonians 3:11-13.
Paul is warning Christians who aren’t at work. They are idle, not turning a profit with their time. He plays on the words and says that they aren’t busy, they are busybodies. In the Greek, it says something more like: they don’t work, they work-around. These are the type of people that seem to be busy, but when you take a close look at their schedule, they aren’t really doing much at all! Their life is full of drama, but nothing of worth. They piddle with this and that, waste time worrying about what they have to do, but never actually getting around to doing it. They become a burden to others who have to pick up the slack and bail them out time after time because of this non-working business of an idler.
Paul says elsewhere that the reason he built tents while he preached among them (the Thessalonians) was so that he wouldn’t be idle and make others take care of him. He didn’t want to be a burden on those around him. I can truthfully say, I understand Paul’s sentiment. And what strong sentiment! He says to mark the idler, warn him and even to stay away from him.
I know a person who quits is not necessarily a person who is idle. There are many reasons for discontinuing a job. But, the resulting burden is similar. It makes more work for those who don’t give up. And not just tangible work. There is the intangible mental work to be done battling discouragement.
And to this, Paul speaks words of courage: “And as for you, dear siblings, never tire of doing what is right.” I’m sure Paul experienced the inconvenience and frustration of fellow workers quitting on him, and with these words its as if he is saying to me, “I know what it feels like when folks abandon the cause, but you are on the right course. Up and at ‘em girl!”
And with that, I am roused to courageously endure.
Smelly Grace
It is Monday morning. Time to get ready for work. I do my usual routine; shower, hair, tooth-brushing, get dressed, put on perfume, grab a cup of coffee, check on the dog. This is where I pause.
I think, “Great. I wonder if that stupid creature is wound up on the tree again?” It is a nightly occurrence for my pet dog to play himself down to five inches of leash. The rest of the leash spider-webs between the apple tree and dog house.
Sure enough, outside I am greeted by a happy tail, sparkling eyes and a wet tongue all strapped to the side of the tree trunk. Barely able to wiggle, he barks and squirms as I survey the situation from the clean safety of my back porch. I sip. I smell the doggy aroma through the coffee and contemplate if I have enough time to change after I get his dirty, hairy butt untied.
“You expect me to get you free again, don’t you?” I say to him. “I think you like being tied up, you do it so often!”
He doggy talks back, and since I’m his owner, I know what he says.
“I’m so sorry. Please, please untangle me.”
A paw lifts in repentance, promising a big hug and kiss for me when I help him out. Not what I wanted to complete my appearance this morning!
But I love him. I can’t bear to think of him trapped all day. My coffee cup cools on the porch rail as I release him, enjoy his messy kisses and push him off me as I un-knot his leash for another day. A hand wash and clothes change gets me back to a presentable state, and I rush to work vowing to remember to check the dog before the shower tomorrow.
The word grace means giving to the undeserved. And it’s always messy. Why? Because undeserving folks are a mess. Just like my dirty dog, I too behave in the same stupid patterns. I stretch the loving tolerance of those around me. I get those around me “dirty” with my angry outbursts and self-absorption. I get tied up in my own pleasure, oblivious to the knots I am creating for others to undo.
The word grace is love in action. Love is more than a feeling I get from someone who loves me back, it is giving to someone regardless of the cost. Everyone knows I love my dog, because I save him every morning despite the repetition and the mess.
Jesus Christ is the proof that God loves me. I am a tied-up, stupid, undeserving dog. Yet, He was willing to touch me and free me despite the mess.
No one is really willing to die for an honest person, though someone might be willing to die for a truly good person. But God showed how much he loved us by having Christ die for us, even though we were sinful. Christ never sinned! But God treated him as a sinner, so that Christ could make us acceptable to God. ~ Romans 5:7-8, 2 Cor 5:21
Stumble It!
